Defiant
by Dark Fade
Summary: Matt's take on the term defiant. MelloxMatt. Angst


Defiant. The word was as form fitting to Mello as his sexy leather was. It was a perfect description. He was determined, headstrong, and the most defiant person anyone could ever-and would ever- meet. He was everything Matt wanted to be. Mello _felt_ on a daily bases, and he wasn't afraid to show his emotion. No, he wore what he felt on his sleeve for everyone to see and endure. Mello raised holy hell when he was in a destructive, and would enjoy every minute of it. Matt only wished he could be as… fearless? Was that the word? He only immersed himself into a fantasy world that would allow him to escape realities tight grip on him. That was how he dealt with emotion. He played his heart out into whatever videogame suited his mood. When he was angry, he played Mortal Combat, when relaxed, it was typically an older Final Fantasy game, or even when he was feeling lazy or competitive, it would be Super Smash Bros, both for the Game Cube and Wii.

Mello was the only person who could make him show his emotions, as infrequent as it was. Matt masked them much like he disguised his eyes. After all, everyone says the eyes are the gateway to the soul. Matt didn't want anyone to see his soul. Especially Mello. He feared Mello would see his weakness, and finally sense how much of a coward he truly was. He needed Mello. He needed someone to follow, someone who felt every emotion possible. He loved Mello for that. He loved Mello for his _defiance_. To him, every rule that was created was meant to be destroyed by only one person. Him and only him. That's how he got by and how both of them managed to survive every ordeal they had been through. The fact that Mello was even alive must defy some law in physics. But somehow and in some way, Mello always got them by and he always would save them. Matt needed to be saved, and only Mello cared enough too. That was good enough for him.

He felt as if he didn't _deserve_ someone as perfect as Mello. The blonde was like an angel in his eyes, as clichéd as that sounded. Mello's newly obtained scar didn't obscure that image, as much as he would like to think. Matt only thought it made him more beautiful, sexier, and more appealing. Mello actually cried when he saw it for the first time. Matt would never forget that heart wrenching moment. Mello had collapsed to the floor, tears leaking from both eyes, whispering that he was now a monster on the inside and out. Matt had simply held him and told him he was _beautiful_, inside and out. He was _perfect_. This seemed to only slightly faze the blonde, but Matt knew it made a difference. He wanted Mello to know that someone loved his scar, and that someone loved him. He never wanted Mello to feel as if it defiled his appearance, or made Matt's infatuation with him any less. After all, Mello was everything Matt craved to be. The world would not remember Matt, but it sure as hell would remember Mello. Not a single person Mello met would ever forget their encounter. There was something so enticing, something so _charismatic_ about him. Matt adored him for that too. Hell he adored every aspect of Mello. It's not like he even had a choice.

Matt was currently sprawled out on the couch, his D.S in hand. He was replaying the Harry Potter game that had come out the previous year. With a sigh, he quickly tapped away at the screen, trying to forget all thoughts of Mello. Normally he could become so engulfed with his videogames that he could forget everything and anything. But Mello and his tight ass leather continued to invade his thoughts. Damn, even that leather had to be defying the laws of physics. No one but Mello could possibly breathe in that. Matt had tried it on a few years ago and proceeded to rip the pants. It didn't mean he was fatter than Mello, it only meant he had a bigger, sexier ass. Or at least that's what Matt told himself. God, even he knew that Mello was better looking than him. This was the one hundred and twenty third reason why Mello should be with someone else. There was one thing they shared in common: Sarcasm. Yes, Matt would not be Matt without sarcasm. That was what won wars against Mello. However, when it came to physical fights, Matt was a pretty kick ass fighter. Sort of. At least he didn't pull hair, right?

Matt slowly paused his game as he heard their apartment door open. "Yo, Mels." Mello had just come back from one of his infamous chocolate runs. "Did you bring back any food that I like?"

"I picked up some Chinese and found one of those stupid Shonen Jump things you enjoy reading so much." Mello tossed the large manga magazine at the gamer who grinned.

"It's not stupid! Thanks for 'finding' it for me." Matt knew damn well that Mello probably _found_ it on a shelf somewhere at a drug store," Mello slid onto the couch with Matt, wrapping his arms around him. Matt sat the Shonen Jump on their chipped coffee table and rolled over to snuggle into Mello's warm chest. He traced the outline of Mello's face with a slender finger, carefully gliding it over his scar. Mello shuddered as he did so. Matt wasn't sure why he always got that reaction from Mello when he did that. He was unsure if it reminded him that it was there, a constant reminder of the night he almost died, or if it was sensitive. He wasn't about to ask him, either. "Hold me forever?" Matt asked, softly kissing Mello's neck. He could feel the other shake with laughter.

"I'll hold you until you want me to let go." Mello whispered, brushing a stray strand of hair away from Matt's goggles. "Even then, I don't think I could." Matt never wanted him to, but he knew his opinion wouldn't matter. Mello would only do what he desired, just like he always did. But Matt was perfectly content with being what he currently desired.

_**Um...Hi...I'm not dead. I just took a break...all summer, apparently. xD For everyone who is reading Sour Sweet's, it shouldn't be too long until I post another chapter. I'm really really sorry it's taking me so long. Thank you every one who has story alerted and favorited! I found this fic and another one while I was looking for a misplaced essay I had written for AP Language. I would go on a rant about how I have to write four essays in a week now, but I'll save that for my friends to endure. This fic, like I said, is pretty old. It was a prompt.**_


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